“I want to come down now” her cries echo around the room. Great. That just makes me feel more scared.I glance up at the person on the slide. If they only got up to 4 then I'm probably only going to get up to 2.
As the slide is drawing closer to me, I see that the line is shrinking.
My heart is pumping so fast I can't even control myself.I slowly step into the overalls, shaking. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.I step onto the slide like I'm moonwalking, as everything in slow motion.My hand clings onto the rail, already sweating.
The man who is controlling the rails says “are you ready?” I say yes, but I'm actually not. I start to rise, thinking impatiently; should I let go now? But instead I wait a little bit longer.
“Am I at the top yet?!” I call out.
My mum says “You're only at number three.” I try to do something that takes my mind stop thinking about me dying. But I can't. It's too frustrating.
Someone calls out “You’re at the top now!” I assume it is the guy controlling the rail.I feel so proud. I let go then I shoot like a rocket down to the bottom .
When I finally hop of the slide, I am blushing. I wish I could go again.
When I was writing I was learning how to use emotional descriptions. For example instead of saying I look up at the tree, you could say ‘my eyes are glued to the top of the rugged oak tree. I feel like my legs are paralyzed.’
I think that I went well because I achieved my goal. I achieved my goal by looking in my bright sparks book for good verbs.
Next time my goal will be to use punctuation better because I always forget where to put speech marks and commas.