Tuesday, 24 May 2016

The scary time at clip and climb.

“I want to come down now” her cries echo around the room. Great. That just makes me feel more scared.I glance up at the person on the slide. If they only got up to 4 then I'm probably only going to get up to 2.
As the slide is drawing closer to me, I see that the line is shrinking.

My heart is pumping so fast I can't even control myself.I slowly step into the overalls, shaking. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.I step onto the slide like I'm moonwalking, as everything in slow motion.My hand clings onto the rail, already sweating.

The man who is controlling the rails says “are you ready?” I say yes, but I'm actually not. I start to rise, thinking impatiently; should I let go now? But instead I wait a little bit longer.

“Am I at the top yet?!” I call out. 
My mum says “You're only at number three.” I try to do something that takes my mind stop thinking about me dying. But I can't. It's too frustrating.

Someone calls out “You’re at the top now!” I assume it is the guy controlling the rail.I feel so proud. I let go then I shoot like a rocket down to the bottom .
When I finally hop of the slide, I am blushing. I wish I could go again.
 
My Reflection.
When I was writing  I was learning how to use emotional descriptions. For example instead of saying I look up at the tree, you could say ‘my eyes are glued to the top of the rugged oak tree. I feel like my legs are paralyzed.’
I think that I went well because I achieved my goal. I achieved my goal by looking in my bright sparks book for good verbs.
Next time my goal will be to use punctuation better because I always forget where to put speech marks and commas.



11 comments:

  1. I love this story Matilda, it took me straight back to the day we went to clip and climb. I remember your nervousness and how you dug deep, overcame your nervousness and how you went higher than everyone else. I though you were so brave! My favourite sentence in your story is: 'I step onto the slide like I'm moonwalking, as everything in slow motion.' That is exactly how I imagine it would feel.

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  2. I love this story Matilda, it took me straight back to the day we went to clip and climb. I remember your nervousness and how you dug deep, overcame your nervousness and how you went higher than everyone else. I though you were so brave! My favourite sentence in your story is: 'I step onto the slide like I'm moonwalking, as everything in slow motion.' That is exactly how I imagine it would feel.

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  3. I love this story Matilda, it took me straight back to the day we went to clip and climb. I remember your nervousness and how you dug deep, overcame your nervousness and how you went higher than everyone else. I though you were so brave! My favourite sentence in your story is: 'I step onto the slide like I'm moonwalking, as everything in slow motion.' That is exactly how I imagine it would feel.

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  4. That made me want to do something brave too. Excellent descriptions Matilda, I felt like I was there with you even though I've never been to Clip n Climb

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  5. That made me want to do something brave too. Excellent descriptions Matilda, I felt like I was there with you even though I've never been to Clip n Climb

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  6. Great writing Matilda, it made me want to go and do something brave! Your writing was so descriptive that I felt like I was there with you even though I've never been to Clip n Climb

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  7. From Auntie Becky: Great writing Matilda, it made me want to go and do something brave! Your writing was so descriptive that I felt like I was there with you even though I've never been to Clip n Climb

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  8. Tilda I have loved everything in your whole blog! Especially the Akaroa sounds and words. I'm very proud of you and your efforts and talent. X

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  9. We all enjoyed listening to this very descriptive story Matilda. It was exciting to read. Great writing, keep it up!

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  10. This is a fabulous peice of writing it totally made sense. I could see every little picture
    in my mind,.When I went on that slide I only went up to 1. After I was shivering with fear you are very brave great job Matilda

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